


Livin' On A Prayer

by onefootintheboilinghotlava



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 10x16 coda, ? - Freeform, Confession, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Song fic?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-15
Updated: 2016-09-15
Packaged: 2018-08-15 05:44:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8044636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onefootintheboilinghotlava/pseuds/onefootintheboilinghotlava
Summary: 10x16 Coda
After the confession session, Dean felt like he gotta say something to Cas......





	Livin' On A Prayer

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this long ago, well obviously when the episode aired, but I never put it here on AO3, so I figured I'd just upload here as well anyway.

 

It was yet another hunt successful with him still bearing the mark. For every single case that he could pull through, he was just glad. God knows how long he could really fight against the mark, he could only count any day more as a blessing, while the end felt so near to him. As he drove along, humming behind the wheels, he found himself humming to Livin’ On A Prayer. He knew Sam was with all the good intention in the world when he offered that Dean could talk to him, but there were just things that he prefer not to confide in his precious Sammy boy. Despite all his instincts shouting at him that there was no way he could have a life, all he had is to wait until the Mark swallows him whole, hold behind Sam and Cas, tried his damnest to not have them hurt at all. Yet there had always been this little part of his mind that kept betraying him for years, a place where he pictured a house, him coming home to a human Cas, Sam coming for dinner, etc. Some details varied over the years, but some did not. He remembered his words at the confessional. In that little place of his mind, he wanted to be a normal big brother to Sam, he wanted a meal be more than just sitting there and researching for a case, he wished he could teach Cas more about the perks of being human, he wished to make sure that Cas would always stay away from drugs and alcohol. He was frightened by his little piece of mind, because the pictures made him so much more unprepared for the end that would be soon to come. It itched on his nerves.

It would take another day of driving for them to get back to the bunker, so it was another motel for them to stay the night. Sam mumbled something about grabbing food on his way out, leaving Dean alone with his thought in the motel room. Somehow his hands took out his phone, scrolled onto the name he would whisper in nights that he could not sleep. He wanted to call but he knew he would not be able to pull a word of what he really wanted to say anyway, so he texted.

 

_Hey Cas, ever heard of Bon Jovi?_

_He put the phone down on the table, went to the bathroom for a long shower. When he came back out, the little notification light flickering on his phone._

_Yes. He was quite an admirable man on Earth and Balthazar once said he quite enjoyed his company in Heaven._

 

Well ain’t his angel precious. Wait a second, when the fuck did he start to refer Cas as his angel. First he ain’t an angel anymore, at least not fully. Second, when was Cas “his” anyway……Apparently his little betraying mind had gone too far.

 

_I don’t mean that Cas I mean have u heard his songs and stuff_

_I think one of his song ‘Livin’ On A Prayer’ was playing on the radio the other day, is this what you’re referring to, Dean?_

_yeah well do u like it_

_I found it fitting for the situation we are in somehow. You and Sam taught me to keep fighting, and that family is all there’s to make it worthwhile. Before I met you, I could not comprehend the true meaning of love being worthwhile. Now I think I start to understand better of the sentiment and love itself._

Cas always texted like he speak, though through his transition towards adopting to be a human and the times he spent with the Winchesters he had channeled his speech to more ‘human’, his texts reminded Dean of the early days he met Cas, all ‘Angel of the Lord’ and so socially awkward yet honest. Hey I just ask if u like the song, no need to go all big on me As much as it was certain that the text would not tell Cas that Dean got tears rolling down his cheek, a little part of him could not help but worried if Cas would hear his tears or something. He so wanted to have a normal life with Cas, and Sam, and it was eating him up every single day. Not only knowing that he could not have it with Cas, but with the Mark still intact he would only be a danger to both Sam and Cas in due time. Maybe the confessional made all the thoughts that he had previously buried deep down somehow floated onto the surface. His phone rang and startled Dean out of his sudden state of misery. He swept his face with his sleeves and clicked answer on his phone.

_'Hello? Dean.'_

_'What’s up, Cas?'_

_'I just wanna say that……'_

_'Hey don’t keep a guy waiting, don’t you know that, Cas?'_

_'In that case, then…… How was your day with Sam?'_

_'Well we finished up the hunt, turned out to be quite a love affair, ended up in a church and a nun sticking around for years. I even went into the confessional for fuck’s sake'_

_'Why would the case require you to do such thing?'_

_'Well we figured all the victims went into confessional before they were killed so……'_

_'I’m glad you are fine after the hunt.'_

_'There were so many things that Dean wanted to say to Cas over the phone, but he just could not get the words out of his mouth.'_

_'Dean, you there?'_

_'Yeah’ Cas, it’s just……'_

_'Something else happened? Something you want to tell me?'_

_'Cas…… I love you...'_

 

Then Dean heard the door opening sound.

 

_'Sam’s back, gotta go. Bye Cas'_

 

Sam was back with food and a six-pack. Dean pretended nothing happened and moved on for the night. They watched some crappy tv, checked over for a new case and found nothing for the moment. Dean’s phone did not ring at all through the night. Dean did not know what to feel. Maybe he felt Cas should at least call back or say something, but honestly he was stunned by his own confession even he could not figure out why he said that to Cas that second, nor did he know how he should act afterwards. They drove quietly back to the Bunker.

As Dean pulled to the front of the bunker, a familiar Continental was already there, along with another familiar figure standing beside the car. Sam got out of the car, walked straight to Cas.

‘Wow how are you, man? Didn’t know you were stopping by.’

Sam was apparently excited to see Cas. guessing it was always better when the two brothers were not alone in each other’s company.

‘Yeah’ I was searching for something and came up somewhere close by.’

Cas replied to Sam, while his gaze lingered upon Dean, who was only slowly getting out of the car.

‘Well I’d…..’

Maybe it was the usual vibe that got Sam somehow knew he should leave the two of them alone or something, Sam disappeared behind the doors. Dean walked up to Cas.

‘Hello, Dean.’

‘Hey Cas’

‘Why did you say that on the phone?’

‘Said what?’

‘You said you love me and I thought I needed to see you in person, in order to properly reply to what you said.’

‘Cas, it’s fine. It was just that…… I spilled a little truth in the confessional and something gotten into me to say that to you. We can just pretend it never happened and just move on.’

‘No! You proclaim something of import to me, and it deserves……’

Cas put his hand on Dean’s shoulder, where once his mark was on Dean. Maybe it was a leftover effect or whatever, Dean was shaken under such a little touch from Cas. He was too tired to hold it back. If he was going down sooner or later, spilling it all out and have Cas leave him would be better anyway.

‘Fine. I am scared okay? I knew I am gonna die sooner or later, but I never thought I would want something more, Cas. I want something more with Sam, more time with Charlie, save more people before I go down swinging and I…… I love you. I wish for something more with you, even though you won’t have me, even though I know I’m poison to you and to Sam.’

Tears fell from his eyes once more against his will. Cas let his hand held onto Dean’s waist, while the other lift up Dean’s chin. ‘Dean. I love you, too.’ His blue eyes staring right into Dean’s, not letting his gaze escape. Dean could not remember the last time he was held so carefully and tightly. Cas got one hand round his waist, the other holding his chin, with his face so close to his own and staring deep into his eyes. As Cas’ forehead touched his own, Cas whispered once more against his mouth

‘I love you, Dean Winchester.’

Then, instead of kissing him, he took Dean into a tight embrace, letting Dean’s head rest on his shoulder. Dean let his tears ran down Cas’ trenchcoat, closing his eyes, feeling safe for once, within Cas’ embrace and warmth. Against his blurred sight with tears, he somehow heard Cas humming Livin’ On A Prayer beside his ears.

_It doesn’t make a difference if we make it or not_

_We’ve got each other and that’s a lot_

_For love, we’ll give it a shot_

For love, Dean wanted to give it a shot before he gone down swinging.

For love alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Original Post: http://onefootintheboilinghotlava.tumblr.com/post/120858169993/spn-10x16-coda


End file.
